vB Easy Archive - Stupid Customer Quotes

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Stupid Customer Quotes
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Posted by: Durg

Have you ever had a customer so rediculously incredibly dense that you just had to get an autofail for rude and condescending?

Have you ever had to bluntly tell a guy, "You're an idiot"?

Employees of Sprint Nextel, please, post your stupid customer sayings here!

I'll start with my favorites; things that I have had to say to customers.

"No, ma'am, listen, I'm very sorry that someone used your credit card to pay thier bill, but regardless Sprint is not going to do anything - the reason why is you need to report this as fraudulant activity. You don't get it - someone could be out there buying TVs with your credit card."

Response from Customer:
"I can't believe Sprint won't step up to the plate and admit they're fraudulantly using my credit card!"

"MA'AM, FOR THE LAST TIME, SPRINT NEXTEL IS NOT GOING OUT WITH YOUR CREDIT CARD AND BUYING THE TVS. SPRINT IS NOT PAYING OFF ITS CUSTOMERS BILLS WITH YOUR CREDIT CARD. SOMEONE HAS YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER. CANCEL YOUR CARD."

Response from Customer:
"You don't get it. I want you guys to stop using my credit card!!!"

"... Thank you for calling Sprint, together with Nextel. I'm sorry, I cannot hear you at this moment. Please call back Monday to Friday from 7am to 1am Eastern or Saturday from 8am to 8pm eastern..."

----
"Ever since you guys merged with Sprint, my service has been horrible!" "I'm sorry to hear that, sir! Allow me to assist you! When did your service begin to decline?" "April."

----
"Why won't you guys give me a new phone? All I want is a free phone..." "Because you've recieved over $1400 in curteousy credits over the last 3 months and over the last year you've only made $390 in payments." "What does that have to do with anything?"

----
"Does service and repair cover water damage?" "No, but your insurance does; is there any particular reason you're asking?" "Well, me and my girlfriend were..."

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"I want to cancel my service!" "I appologize to hear that! Is there any particular reason why?" "Because FedEx hasn't delivered my phone yet!" "... Sir, we can't control another company, but if you want to cancel because of something beyond our ability to control that is definately your perogative..." "All I want is my phone! Can't you call Signal and tell them to deliver my phone already?" "Sir, Signal is an insurance company..."

Posted by: Its_Miller_Time

personal favorite...

"Well I should be able to do this...I am the authorized person on the account"..."Well, I'm sorry sir, I show you're an authorized user on the account, but not authorized to make any financially impacting changes"..."I don't understand, I was able to do this last time I was here"..."I'm sorry sir, i can't go further at this point"..."This is bull****, I want to port to VZW"..."Well you go right ahead sir..."

Posted by: Durg

That reminds me of a conversation I had earlier today!!

"I want you to send me my unbilled call report." "I'm sorry, ma'am, unfortunately revealing unbilled call detail is against Sprint Nextel Policy." "Listen, you guys charged me $30 last time and you sent me all the calls I made one day, the day after I made them; and it was in the middle of a cycle so don't tell me you can't!" "Ma'am, I'm a team lead here with Nextel and I can advise you no such report exists." "That's it! You don't know what the hell you talkin' about! Lemme talk to yo supavisa!"

And, of course, supervisor repeats....

Posted by: Its_Miller_Time

Let's see...the most popular one I heard at Sprint was...

"How much do I have to pay to get my phone turned back on?"..."Well sir, you would want to pay more then just the minimum in case you have any unexpected charges to avoid service disruption"..."I didn't ask you that, how much do I have to pay?"..."You have to pay 500,000 to get cut back on"

Posted by: A6433

Quote:

Originally Posted by Durg

That reminds me of a conversation I had earlier today!!

"I want you to send me my unbilled call report." "I'm sorry, ma'am, unfortunately revealing unbilled call detail is against Sprint Nextel Policy." "Listen, you guys charged me $30 last time and you sent me all the calls I made one day, the day after I made them; and it was in the middle of a cycle so don't tell me you can't!" "Ma'am, I'm a team lead here with Nextel and I can advise you no such report exists." "That's it! You don't know what the hell you talkin' about! Lemme talk to yo supavisa!"

And, of course, supervisor repeats....

When my phone was lost, CS did provide me with the call information made on the day it was lost, in the interest of locating it. This info was given over the phone though, no paper report.

Posted by: fusiclover

"I didn't get my phone wet, I haven't dropped in water, don't you think I'd know if dropped it in water!"

:::::::as the baby she is with starts crying and she hands it her phone to suck on.......

"You're right ma'am, I'm sure you didn't drop it in water... however....."

Posted by: Durg

No, she wanted a report mailed to her; and not only that, we aren't allowed to review unbilled call detail; against privacy and CPNI regulations through the FCC.

Posted by: DINide

my personal favorite is when a customer calls and asks that you access their account for them..."no sir, i cannot do that for privacy issues" "but i can verify everything on the account" "i'm sure you can, but we verify with a picture id for starters"

or how about: "i'd like to pay a bill" "do you have sprint or nextel?" "nextel" "unfortunately, payments cannot be made at stores yet" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I WAS HERE LAST MONTH AND PAID MY BILL!!" "that's impossible, because we cannot take payments for nextel accounts... payments are taken over the phone, online, currency exchanges, or by mail..."

and, this happened to one of my RCC's..."THIS PHONE IS GARBAGE!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SOLD ME THIS!! I WANT TO CANCEL MY SERVICE" *RCC takes phone and takes a look at the phone* "i'm sorry, sir, we are not US Cellular, we're Sprint" "I GOT MY PHONE FROM THIS STORE!!" "sir, US Cellular is on the other side of the mall" *customer walks out confused & pissed and just looks at our sign...as if the shirt that says SPRINT on it, or SPRINT in front of the workstations, banners, posters, etc wasn't enough*

Posted by: SprintPlano

A customer came in (awhile back) wanting to activate a used phone for a younger girl (whatever the relationship is), we said that we can try but there might be owed balances, lost, stolen, what have you and if we can't what phone would you like in that case. he picks the i205, leaves and says to call when we figure out what is going on. 10 minutes later we call and tell him he has to get the 205 that there is unpaid bills for the 730. He okays it and we activate it. He comes back close to closing time, we give him all the paper work the phone, and what have you, And tell him the total is $26.68. He says "throw it on the bill" , sir, we can't put it on your bill, you got the phone from us, you pay us for the phone. "No, last time it was put on the bill, i want it on my bill." maybe your phone was shipped the last time, in that case it can be put on the bill. "no i got it that day" ::looking through paperwork, has never done business with us before:: Sir, you ahve never done business with us before "well my brother came here and he got it put on his bill" now raising his voice. sir, i can assure you that the phone was shipped then. getting louder "PUT IT ON MY BILL OR CANCEL THE DAMN THING, I DON'T WANT IT, YOU ARE TRYING TO SCAM ME, CANCEL IT!!" sir, it's just $26.68, if i cancel it, you will have to wait 30 days to get another one (trying to get him to just pay it and be happy) "IM NOT PAYING ANYTHING AND WAITING FOR ANYTHING TO CLEAR UP BECAUSE YOU ****ED EVERYTHING UP"

ME: SIR, I DIDN'T **** ANYTHING UP, I CAN'T HELP IT YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND OUR CONVERSATION BEFORE YOU LEFT, AND ON THE PHONE, AND AFTER YOU CAME BACK. JUST PAY THE $26.68.

CUST: Do you take checks, i think I have one in the car, i apologize for the way i acted.

ahahah, probably didn't think a 19 year old girl (at the time) would talk like that to him.

Posted by: eji730

Ma all time favorite....why do people call in and ask questions the ivr system will tell them over the phone.
Cust"Im just calling to see if you have got my payment"
"me"while I pull that up for you how did you pay"
Cust":I mailed a check"
Me"did the check clear the bank
Cust"well yes
Me"?????????
da we got it if it cleard your bank dumb a**

Posted by: boost_i95

Customer: "My Phone can't receive any phone calls."
Me: "OK, let me take a look at it." *Turn Phone On, Call It, It Rings* "It seems to be working fine sir."
Customer: "Ohhh... the phone has to be on??"

Posted by: oracleofdelphi1

My favorite quote is from the hundreds of crackhead deposit customers I had. Keep in mind that this is only annoying to me if it is announciated in this way...

"I want to pay my beeeeew" Then the customer commences to produce just enough cash to cover the surcharge and the minimum amout that it takes to get the phone turned back on. Most of the time they won't even change their minutes, but will instead always pay the overages, always get shut off for exceeding the ASL, and always pay in cash. Why do deposit customers never have bank accounts (in Radcliff, KY anyway...).

THIS IS IN NO WAY AN ATTEMPT TO BASH DEPOSIT CUSTOMERS, JUST THOSE INDIVIDUALS WHO WOULD ALWAYS PLAGUE MY STORE WITH THEIR PERPETUAL DISREGARD FOR MAKING IT IN LIFE...

Posted by: pjshaker

i have a bunch of good ones but the one i remember the most is when i was workign at a store and these 2 kids came in and wanted phones in their dads name......their dad happend to be our state sennator....well i tell them that i cant do anythign without him here or his signature on the contaract along with 2 forms of ID.....

they start to get kinda angry and start going off on this ******** rant and pull the infamous "do you know who i am" speech.....so i asked who they are and they told me....and then i was just like..."ummmmm....ok".. like i give a **** if your a a sennators kids.....we kept going back and forth with eachother about how i couldnt give them a phone in their dads name...but i could do one in there name, but they didnt want to do that.....after about 15 minutes of going back and forth one of the kids(there were 2 guys) started getting in my face and was trying to unsult me....keep in mind i was 21 at the time 6'0" about 190 pounds..not huge but.....this kid was like 17 5'10" and like 130 pounds...and his brother was about the same....the kid insults me by saying that i work at a cell phone store.......well i come back with "well atleast i got a phone buddy, and i dont have to go around town trying to get **** cause of who my dad is.." then he was just kinda like "whatever dude, your just lucky i dotn mess you up".....i couldnt ****ing beleive it.....this ****ing kid is trying to start **** with me...all he needs to do is throw a punch and it would be all over the news papers....

well i tell him we can go out side and settle this if he wanted cause there are camera's inside and there arent any outside....he kinda starts to hesitate...and then he said something like "no its cool dude" or something...i cant remember what he said when i todl him that...it was over 2 years ago..but it was something like that.....

so they finally leave and i start to follow them out cause i want to freak them out..plus i wanted to have a smoke after all that ********....but it was funny...ive never seen soemone pull out of a store so fast without robbing it...lol

i cant stand people that have done nothing in their lives and want to be treated like royalty cause their parents are rich...it pisses me off

Posted by: Andyman53

hey guys...I'm with computers, i'll throw in that you might find amusing anyway.

Me: "Hello Sir, Just bring in the tower, ok?"
Him: "Thats the modem with the gigabytes right?"

Me: "You need to buy antivirus protection every year"
Him: "Why, I keep my computer clean!!??"

Me: Your cable modem doesn't work because you split the line to it 30 times for all the other rooms in your house. You have to put it on the first splitter. I'd be happy to rewire it for you.
Him: You CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!
Me: Have you ever heard of Cable Fraud?
Him: How much was that again?