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TOP 10 Things "Not" To Say To A Customer

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Posted by: Jettastyle

#10...But my bill says Cingular now......

Ok genius...you signed up with AT&T, you have been billed by AT&T for years, your phone says AT&T on the outside. The only thing that has changed in your world is the logo on your bill. Let me put it into perspective...If you buy a box of Frosted Flakes, and your wife puts a picture of the Lucky Charms guy on the box, does the contents inside magically change into pink hearts and yellow moon marshmallows? Convert over or deal with the reality that you signed up with the wrong team.

#9...Best Buy sells the RAZR cheaper....

Its called a promotion. Their reps are hourly employees which means no comission is paid out. Best Buy keeps that commission for themselves. It does not phase them to cut into their own commission to get gross adds which allows them to hit a bonus payout. Plus they can mark up a refridgerator $200 to make up to $100 discount on the phone. Cell phone stores only sell phones...so NO, they won't match the price.

#8...Customer service said I get a free phone....

If customer service told you that you weighed 80 pounds less, would you run out and buy a two piece and flip flops? Congatulations..they told you what you needed to hear to get off the phone and walk into a store like everybody else. The prices are set locally in each market. Customer service can't possibly know the prices unless they visit each store. Besides, they leave notes on accounts if there is a free phone offer. 9 times out of ten....no notes on your account. If you bought the phone from Motorola or Samsung directly, you would pay 2-300 dollars. We only charge you 50-80. Where does that other 150 go? We eat it up front. But that is not good enough. You want more. You want free. If you buy cereal, does the store give you free milk? If you buy a car is the oil and gas free? If you get cable service is the T.V. free? No. But in cellphone land, we give everything away for free. Well guess what, we buy the phnes from somebody else.They charge us. We charge you. The phones today do more that that black and white cap *** junker you surfed in on. $80.00 for a phone (after a rebate) over 2 years = $3.33 a month. Less than a pack of smokes cheap o.

#7 But the phones are cheaper online...

Does online have the same overhead that a retail store has? Are you talking to a live person who has real time feedback on your equipment decision. Is the return process as convienient as in store? No. If you are looking for a crappy low end free phone that will break in 6 months, shop online. If you want to invest some real money on a quality product with live demostrations and support, go to a store.

#6 They gave me a free car charger last time...

If they were free, why would we spend hours putting price tags on the back?
You need the charger...you want the charger...its a convienient product...just pony up and buy one. I have had mine for over 2 years now. $26.99 divided by 24 months is $1.12 a month. What else do you spend more than $1.12 a month on? McDonalds? Beer? Toilet paper? CornNuts?

#5 Activation fee? Can't you waive that?

I'm sorry....I actually can. I just wanted to charge you extra because I wan't to piss you off and encourage you to not spend any more money today. I'm not really under a quota that my job depends on, and my comissions were not cut in half this month. Let me go ahead and press that Activation Fee waived button right here on my desk.
Look..If you could process the transaction yourself...there would be no fee. But since you can't even figure out how to store numbers in your phone book while using CAPITAL LETTERS, I doubt that will happen anytime soon.

#4 Why's my bill so high?

....hmmmmmm.............
Let me look, oh i see it. Right here. You were too cheap to pick the plan I suggested, and add the appropriate features you needed. Now you went over your minutes, got overcharged for pay per use, and have a $400 bill. Now you need my help? I get paid $4.00 for helping you cheap out on me for an hour, and I explained the whole instruction manual to you in store. Now you want me to give you a credit..Guess what...I CAN'T. We don't give credits in store. Its a big long process of e-mails and calls to people who have to escalate to their bosses. 5-6 days turn around time, and you are only getting 50% back, which is going to piss you off and cause you to cancel, I lose my $4.00, you get $150.00 penalty.You will make a scene, threaten to goto Verizon, and tell everybody how bad Cingular sucks. All because you were to cheap to pick a $79.99 plan to cover all your useage.

#3 Can't I just resign my contract and get a new phone?

A. You did'nt finish the first contract you agreed to finish to get the discount on your current phone.
B. It's not even in your name.
C. You are the one who declined the insurace in the first place
D. If you could just resign..wouldn't everybody just drop their phone in water and come in and resign?


#2 My phone is broke.

....So...if you car breaks do you take it to the salesman in the showroom and ask him to fix it? Does my business card say cellphone technician? Does the sign out front say SERVICE REPAIR CENTER. NO!! The people in the store are there to sell things.We did not build the phone. We did not break the phone. We do not give out replacements. 300 customers a month average ( new and upgrades ) times 12 months = 3600 phones a year times 5 years in an area = 18000 phones sold. If everyone decided they have a problem with their phone and came into exchange it.....we would have -17000 phones in our inventory room to sell. Thats a good business plan. Instead...we have you call an 800 number to have the phone shipped from a warehouse directly to you, no postage to pay, not shipping costs. And what do you say? "I have to be without my phone?" or " I conduct $50,000 in business on my phone every day, I can't be without it " Hey buddy, $50,000 a day you can afford the $7.00 to have overnight shipping. When we did have repair centers, you *****ed about the wait time. We can't win.

#1 thing not to say in a cellphone store...
But I have been a customer for xxx years...

I have driven Fords for 12 years. I have eaten Papa Johns for 10 years. I have drank Mountain Dew for 15 years. I have shopped at Giant Eagle for 8 years. I have bought gas for 12 years. I have Hanes t-shirts for 25 years. I have had cable service 7 years. Do you think that any one of these companies have ever given me anything for FREE just because I have been a customer of theirs for xxx years? No. If you actually got billed for what it costs (from start to finish) to aquire you business, and use our service, you would crap you levis jeans (20 years).



Posted by: mikefletcher85

classic!! i got this in my email!! love it!



Posted by: AMSguitarist

Classic...

"I qualify for an upgrade.... you know.. free phone"

Phones are expensive pieces of equipment. Phones do not have black and white screens like they did 8 years ago... they cost more so thus we currently aren't offering a free phone.

Or....


"Why don't you carry a battery for my 4 year old phone????? What is a store good for??? This is ridiculous!!! Bad customer service."

Sir, we don't carry accessories for discontinued phones forever and if we did we would be nothing but a battery and accessory store filled wall to wall with every accessory for every phone Cingular has ever carried.



Posted by: SmokinTrickster

Can I buy this in poster form?



Posted by: Soopafly

This was originally posted by someone else a little over a year ago....



Posted by: SmokinTrickster

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soopafly
This was originally posted by someone else a little over a year ago....


well damn.. its still funny..



Posted by: CaptShadow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jettastyle
If customer service told you that you weighed 80 pounds less, would you run out and buy a two piece and flip flops?

Oh man, I needed that laugh.
I can see this going into someone's sig.



Posted by: Alfred_Neuman

"we promise to get it right the first time"



Posted by: Rcadden

Quote:
Originally Posted by SmokinTrickster
Can I buy this in poster form?


I think it would be FREAKING HILARIOUS for someone to put this in a nice graphic form, print it out poster-sized, and post it in their store. That way when someone comes in ans says one of them, instead of explaining it, you just point across the store and say, "read number 5 and have a great day."



Posted by: cellulargod721

I just had a customer that falls under #2. "You people are just like sears f***ing worthless" I tell him about the upgrade "so I have to pay more money". Moron did you think that if we did fix phones it would be free? Have a nice day..........you beligerant a**hole! Sorry had to vent. Great list!



Posted by: MoeDrummer

As good as it is, it's still a repost. The other thread has some good additions to the top 10.



Posted by: SmokinTrickster

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rcadden
I think it would be FREAKING HILARIOUS for someone to put this in a nice graphic form, print it out poster-sized, and post it in their store. That way when someone comes in ans says one of them, instead of explaining it, you just point across the store and say, "read number 5 and have a great day."


If someone sets it up in a graphic format, I'll print it and put it up in the store.. and take a picture.. donno how long ill leave it up. But It will only be on regular size.. but shoot I can probably send it to poster place and have them send me it on a poster.. cant cost that much. If someone makes the graphic.. post it in .esp format.. so it wont lose quality when blown up.. im gonna go look at prices.

Also if ther are other things "not to say" that are funnier then the top 10.. ill use those.. but I just want a list of 10.



Posted by: YF 19 AVF

Here is a few for the ANS people out there.

"Why should I have to pay 60 bucks a month just for internet"

"My Blackberry stopped reciving e-mail and I am loosing $10,000 a day."

"I am trying to set up Xpressmail."

Anything to do with the Trio.



Posted by: KlamshellKing

Quote:
Originally Posted by YF 19 AVF
Here is a few for the ANS people out there.

"Why should I have to pay 60 bucks a month just for internet"

"My Blackberry stopped reciving e-mail and I am loosing $10,000 a day."

"I am trying to set up Xpressmail."

Anything to do with the Trio.


if the person was smart enough to make 10,000 a day, then there blackberry wouldnt stop recieving email lol



Posted by: kinghigh779

Customer : Yeah, customer service said I am due for my free phone.

Rep : Oh, well the thing is we are a different department from customer service, and do our prices vary from time to time. Right now we don't have any "free" phones.

Customer : Well, I have been a customer for years, and I always get a free phone when I upgrade, so if you could point me to which phone that is..that would be greeaaat...

Rep : ok look, we don't have any free phones because we have to charge more for you to get the phone here so that I can maintain my standard of living. Therefore, you will unfortunately receive NO free phone at this location. But you CAN have this piece of ISH Nokia 6030 for 39.99. How does that sound?



Posted by: fusiclover

That was really funny regardless of which wireless carrier you work for! I think that same thing applies to everyone !!

"I know I dropped it in water but I've been a customer for xxxx years and you owe me" <love that one>

"This phone sucks" <as it's all beat to crap>

"You're service is too expensive" <as the bill has tons of downloads on it>

"You're customer service sucks" <because you wont give me everything free>

"But Verizon has the chocolate" .... then why are you still here? Oh You LIKE having a speakerphone on your phone... handy isn't it?



Posted by: KingJ2002

LMAO... what gets me is when customers arent eligible for an upgrade and you show them the two year price.

the look on their faces is gold... it's like somebody just hit their car.

"WTH... I PAID 49.99 FOR A RAZR IM NOT PAYING 300 BUCKS TO REPLACE IT"

or when you offer insurance and they want to calculate how much it will cost them in a year

"ok... 3.99 a month, in a year thats what? 48 bucks... for a free phone? no thank you!"

then come back a month later with their puppy dog eyes.

"ummm... i dropped my phone in a toilet (you'd be surprised how many of these I get) and it wont turn on anymore... can you help me please?"



Posted by: fusiclover

OH and don't you love when they tell you they dropped it in the Toilet AFTER you already handled the phone???? That's why we keep hand sanitizer at our stations!!!!



Posted by: Madcat455

Quote:
Originally Posted by fusiclover
OH and don't you love when they tell you they dropped it in the Toilet AFTER you already handled the phone???? That's why we keep hand sanitizer at our stations!!!!



OMFG... YES!!!!..

I literally dropped a phone a customer handed me when she told me it went in the toilet... shook my head mumbling "nasty" (loud enough for her to hear) as I walked to the back.... took 5 minutes washing my hands (not really, but I made sure to wait 5 min after washing)... then went back to the counter and told her there was nothing I could do for it, and then gave her her options (all while the phone is still on the floor, made her come around and pick it up)....LOL. should've seen the look on her face as I dropped it.

She did apologize for not telling me first after I got her a new phone though... suprisingly.



Posted by: Superpimp

Luckily I haven't heard the good old "but I've been a customer for years" line in a bit but now that I've typed it I'll hear it all day today



Posted by: mulletwireless

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jettastyle
#10...But my bill says Cingular now......

Ok genius...you signed up with AT&T, you have been billed by AT&T for years, your phone says AT&T on the outside. The only thing that has changed in your world is the logo on your bill. Let me put it into perspective...If you buy a box of Frosted Flakes, and your wife puts a picture of the Lucky Charms guy on the box, does the contents inside magically change into pink hearts and yellow moon marshmallows? Convert over or deal with the reality that you signed up with the wrong team.

#9...Best Buy sells the RAZR cheaper....

Its called a promotion. Their reps are hourly employees which means no comission is paid out. Best Buy keeps that commission for themselves. It does not phase them to cut into their own commission to get gross adds which allows them to hit a bonus payout. Plus they can mark up a refridgerator $200 to make up to $100 discount on the phone. Cell phone stores only sell phones...so NO, they won't match the price.

#8...Customer service said I get a free phone....

If customer service told you that you weighed 80 pounds less, would you run out and buy a two piece and flip flops? Congatulations..they told you what you needed to hear to get off the phone and walk into a store like everybody else. The prices are set locally in each market. Customer service can't possibly know the prices unless they visit each store. Besides, they leave notes on accounts if there is a free phone offer. 9 times out of ten....no notes on your account. If you bought the phone from Motorola or Samsung directly, you would pay 2-300 dollars. We only charge you 50-80. Where does that other 150 go? We eat it up front. But that is not good enough. You want more. You want free. If you buy cereal, does the store give you free milk? If you buy a car is the oil and gas free? If you get cable service is the T.V. free? No. But in cellphone land, we give everything away for free. Well guess what, we buy the phnes from somebody else.They charge us. We charge you. The phones today do more that that black and white cap *** junker you surfed in on. $80.00 for a phone (after a rebate) over 2 years = $3.33 a month. Less than a pack of smokes cheap o.

#7 But the phones are cheaper online...

Does online have the same overhead that a retail store has? Are you talking to a live person who has real time feedback on your equipment decision. Is the return process as convienient as in store? No. If you are looking for a crappy low end free phone that will break in 6 months, shop online. If you want to invest some real money on a quality product with live demostrations and support, go to a store.

#6 They gave me a free car charger last time...

If they were free, why would we spend hours putting price tags on the back?
You need the charger...you want the charger...its a convienient product...just pony up and buy one. I have had mine for over 2 years now. $26.99 divided by 24 months is $1.12 a month. What else do you spend more than $1.12 a month on? McDonalds? Beer? Toilet paper? CornNuts?

#5 Activation fee? Can't you waive that?

I'm sorry....I actually can. I just wanted to charge you extra because I wan't to piss you off and encourage you to not spend any more money today. I'm not really under a quota that my job depends on, and my comissions were not cut in half this month. Let me go ahead and press that Activation Fee waived button right here on my desk.
Look..If you could process the transaction yourself...there would be no fee. But since you can't even figure out how to store numbers in your phone book while using CAPITAL LETTERS, I doubt that will happen anytime soon.

#4 Why's my bill so high?

....hmmmmmm.............
Let me look, oh i see it. Right here. You were too cheap to pick the plan I suggested, and add the appropriate features you needed. Now you went over your minutes, got overcharged for pay per use, and have a $400 bill. Now you need my help? I get paid $4.00 for helping you cheap out on me for an hour, and I explained the whole instruction manual to you in store. Now you want me to give you a credit..Guess what...I CAN'T. We don't give credits in store. Its a big long process of e-mails and calls to people who have to escalate to their bosses. 5-6 days turn around time, and you are only getting 50% back, which is going to piss you off and cause you to cancel, I lose my $4.00, you get $150.00 penalty.You will make a scene, threaten to goto Verizon, and tell everybody how bad Cingular sucks. All because you were to cheap to pick a $79.99 plan to cover all your useage.

#3 Can't I just resign my contract and get a new phone?

A. You did'nt finish the first contract you agreed to finish to get the discount on your current phone.
B. It's not even in your name.
C. You are the one who declined the insurace in the first place
D. If you could just resign..wouldn't everybody just drop their phone in water and come in and resign?


#2 My phone is broke.

....So...if you car breaks do you take it to the salesman in the showroom and ask him to fix it? Does my business card say cellphone technician? Does the sign out front say SERVICE REPAIR CENTER. NO!! The people in the store are there to sell things.We did not build the phone. We did not break the phone. We do not give out replacements. 300 customers a month average ( new and upgrades ) times 12 months = 3600 phones a year times 5 years in an area = 18000 phones sold. If everyone decided they have a problem with their phone and came into exchange it.....we would have -17000 phones in our inventory room to sell. Thats a good business plan. Instead...we have you call an 800 number to have the phone shipped from a warehouse directly to you, no postage to pay, not shipping costs. And what do you say? "I have to be without my phone?" or " I conduct $50,000 in business on my phone every day, I can't be without it " Hey buddy, $50,000 a day you can afford the $7.00 to have overnight shipping. When we did have repair centers, you *****ed about the wait time. We can't win.

#1 thing not to say in a cellphone store...
But I have been a customer for xxx years...

I have driven Fords for 12 years. I have eaten Papa Johns for 10 years. I have drank Mountain Dew for 15 years. I have shopped at Giant Eagle for 8 years. I have bought gas for 12 years. I have Hanes t-shirts for 25 years. I have had cable service 7 years. Do you think that any one of these companies have ever given me anything for FREE just because I have been a customer of theirs for xxx years? No. If you actually got billed for what it costs (from start to finish) to aquire you business, and use our service, you would crap you levis jeans (20 years).



worse then I ever heard someone say to a customer was she had a nice rack.



Posted by: cuidinsider

dude i said she had a nice rack yesterday our cu500 has pictures of chicks **** in it and not just one its like that phone was made to be a porn machine lol all sorts of **** small **** big ****, old **** lol its like everyone who walks in oh CINGULAR VIDEO CU500 OH YEAH LETS MAKE A PORN MOVIE ON THE PHONE MAYBE SOMEONE WILL NOTICE US AND WE WILL MAKE IT BIG. i apologize if this is offensive to any young ladies here, but its true, oh oh oh our store is like a really big payphone with all of our phones on display being active but we never get paid hmm. FREE PAY PHONE LOL we have regular latino girl who comes in goes to our store corner where the free nokia and lg are which we commonly refer to as "indochina" lol comes in and spends an hour on the phone. gets into a fight with her boyfriend or whatnot then ends up getting pissed off and slamming the brand new 6102i that i personally installed to replace the older 6102 against the wall throws it at the wall and then it falls hanging by the security cord and she leaves and comes back and does it again everyday its like routine.



Posted by: KlamshellKing

Quote:
Originally Posted by cuidinsider
dude i said she had a nice rack yesterday our cu500 has pictures of chicks **** in it and not just one its like that phone was made to be a porn machine lol all sorts of **** small **** big ****, old **** lol its like everyone who walks in oh CINGULAR VIDEO CU500 OH YEAH LETS MAKE A PORN MOVIE ON THE PHONE MAYBE SOMEONE WILL NOTICE US AND WE WILL MAKE IT BIG. i apologize if this is offensive to any young ladies here, but its true, oh oh oh our store is like a really big payphone with all of our phones on display being active but we never get paid hmm. FREE PAY PHONE LOL we have regular latino girl who comes in goes to our store corner where the free nokia and lg are which we commonly refer to as "indochina" lol comes in and spends an hour on the phone. gets into a fight with her boyfriend or whatnot then ends up getting pissed off and slamming the brand new 6102i that i personally installed to replace the older 6102 against the wall throws it at the wall and then it falls hanging by the security cord and she leaves and comes back and does it again everyday its like routine.


isnt that like illegal??



Posted by: MoeDrummer

You should start timing her calls and charge her for the use. If she's not going to buy, she shouldn't be "testing" the phone.



Posted by: cuidinsider

lol maybe it was a tad bit exaderated on the **** parts but the lady who comes in is like a regular what are we gonna say, w.e. we say we will get sued cuz shes hispanic hell i dont even care



Posted by: Ink Noise

Someone brought up the idea of turning this into a poster/document thing, so here you folks go. Maybe slip it into the packet including the terms and conditions of the contract since it's safe to say no customer will ever read that.

PDF Document:
http://www.overmused.com/beta/cingular_top_ten.pdf



Posted by: f0n3PhRe3k

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ink Noise
Someone brought up the idea of turning this into a poster/document thing, so here you folks go. Maybe slip it into the packet including the terms and conditions of the contract since it's safe to say no customer will ever read that.

PDF Document:
http://www.overmused.com/beta/cingular_top_ten.pdf



you are the MAN (or woman) for comming up with that! Good Job, ive printed it off at my work and let my fellow employees loook at it.



Posted by: Lambert

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ink Noise
Someone brought up the idea of turning this into a poster/document thing, so here you folks go. Maybe slip it into the packet including the terms and conditions of the contract since it's safe to say no customer will ever read that.

PDF Document:
http://www.overmused.com/beta/cingular_top_ten.pdf


That is perfect!



Posted by: Toothless Tommy

Jettastyle great post - yes we deal with low IQ's all day but at least we can outsmart the morons quite easliy .
no wonder I own so much real estate - its like buying candy from a kid !

Go Phone custs are all MBA's I think ?





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