Me: "Sir, you have a termination fee because you agreed to a 2 year contract with us..."
Customer: "So, how long is the contract?"
.....**crickets**......
Me: "2 Years"
Me: "Sir, you have a termination fee because you agreed to a 2 year contract with us..."
Customer: "So, how long is the contract?"
.....**crickets**......
Me: "2 Years"
Depending on the mood I was in, I might have said 22 inches (or 11 x how ever many pages).
Here is one that took place almost a year and a half ago in October 2010. If I knew about this form them, I would have posted it then:
I had a customer come in asking about when we were going to get the cell phone from Star Trek. I told her about how flip phones were based on the communicator from the 1960's show.
Nope, she wanted the one from the J.J. Abrams film, where you can see it when young Jim Kirk is driving his uncle's car.
I told her that was merely a film prop. She went on a rant about how "movies are all real", going so far as to claim that she was taught by Dr. Indiana Jones, and that Will Smith is really part of MiB.
She asked again about the phone, and I sarcastically told her that her phone will be in stock when our Lawn and Garden section starts carrying household Warp Cores.
She said thanks, and that she was going to check again next week, and then left.
The following week, I get an angry call from Lawn and Garden, as they had someone asking everyone there where we were hiding our Warp Cores, and was not taking no for an answer.
I do not know where some of these looney tunes come from, but they are EVERYWHERE here.
Here is another extremely stupid example of idiots that should not breed and their Verizon phone issues:
A few nights ago, I had a family of three that came into my wireless store, and I kid you not, that between the trio, there was not enough teeth between them for a full adult human set of teeth, what remained was black and yellow teeth, and even the kid smelled like he was a carton-a-day smoker.
They all had old and cracked Voyager phones, and were asking about upgrading to HTC Droid Incredible 2s. The old man started flipping out about why he had to pay for a data plan. He rambled on about how they needed new phones to keep up with the neighbors, and they would not use data ever.
They then went over and decided that they could all get Samsung Convoy 2s instead. Inbred Jed then decided to ask about phone insurance, as our fact flags include some information about it.
Me: The insurance is though Asurion, and there is a monthly premium associated with the insurance.
IJ: So, if we lose our phones, we get another one free?
I explained about the deductible, and how it is no different in concept from car insurance.
IJ: Insurance is nothing more than a scam! I don't have no car insurance, and I never will. Why have health insurance, when welfare covers our doctor visits. Why can't I just buy a new phone if I break my new one?
Me: You can buy a new one, but you would pay full price (I point to the outright sale price).
IJ: That is a scam, the full price is something you jerks make up to screw us honest folk. I can just buy a new phone for the cheap price, always.
Before I could explain he was wrong, he stormed out, leaving a trail of tobacco spit behind. Cleaning that was so damned disgusting.
He left his broken Voyager behind, too. He came back a few hours later, and said that he was going to call the cops if I did not give him money to keep him quiet about his phone getting "stolen". When I refused, he continued his spit-storm, grabbed his phone and left. -
I hate to seem like I am hogging this thread as of late, but this is something that happened today that really pissed me off, and damn near lost me three contract sales (a Droid RAZR and a pair of Convoy 2s).
I was in the middle of porting over a family from AT&T to Verizon when I had a rather idiotic Straight Talk customer stroll up to the kiosk and told me that i had to "drop everything" and help him. He just spent a whopping $70 on a new Straight Talk phone to replace his broken one, and wanted me to transfer contacts for him.
I told him that I could not help him, as I do not have a cellbrite. He bellowed on about how I was not helping him despite him "doing me a favor" by spending his hard earned money on Straight Talk, and since ST " is division of Verizion, that I had better transfer his contacts for free, otherwise he was going to "have my *** canned by Verizon" if i refused to service his phone.
I told him that Straight Talk is a Mexician company that has nothing to do with Verizon other than buying airtime from Verizion.
He flipped out, made some nonsensical threats, and told the contract customers I was working with to leave, that nobody was going to get help until I "fulfilled my legal obligations" to him.
The contract customer's wife became a bit agitated and told the moron ST customer that if he did not calm down and stop making threats, she was going to call the police.
The ST customer stormed out, whining about his "over priced service with no help", and the contract sale and port completed with no issues, other than the half hour interruption.
I like helping most people, but I despise having to deal with Straight Talk idiots that think that they are entitled to something because of the fact that they buy a phone service that has no semblance of customer service, thinking that they are going to get full service at self serve prices.
I seems like at least every other day is filled with "WTF" moments, largely because of how stupid your typical Wal-Mart shopper can be, coupled with large percentage of lunatics here in North Dakota.
Every day I have to deal with at least one person who claims that Straight Talk = Verizon, and complains about how buggy their service is.
If I wasn't disabled from my time in the Navy, and the damn economy wasn't so bad, I would dump this job in a heartbeat and work somewhere else.
I propose that someone make a VZW,AT&T, etc.. Elite store.. It's a place where to join you have to take a basic CELL PHONE aptitude test.. Once pass like a airline business class section people who have can enter and use facilities transfer, upgrades, etc.. Giving them a little more care ( cause it wont be irritable but pleasant )..
Why would people come? Cause there be a greater discount and a non-BS approach to things.. and Dumbasses no need to apply if one slips through u send them to WalMart or elsewhere.
I propose that someone make a VZW,AT&T, etc.. Elite store.. It's a place where to join you have to take a basic CELL PHONE aptitude test.. Once pass like a airline business class section people who have can enter and use facilities transfer, upgrades, etc.. Giving them a little more care ( cause it wont be irritable but pleasant )..
Why would people come? Cause there be a greater discount and a non-BS approach to things.. and Dumbasses no need to apply if one slips through u send them to WalMart or elsewhere.
I can see how that would be appealing, but do we really need to give customers validation for their "entitlement syndrome"?
Having to have customers take an intelligence and aptitudee test would cut down heavily on those that have an entitlement complex from being able to go to an "Elite" store.
How many intelligent and technologically proficient people out there have an entitlement complex compared to the number of boorish dumbasses out there that have a "help me, for I am too dumb to think" entitlement complex?
How about we just make people pass a test before they are allowed to breed? That should fix our problem, as well as most of the world's problems all at the same time.
There was a Star Trek novel that dealt with that, where a planet had blockers installed that prevented people from having children until after they took and passed intelligence and integrity tests. I beleive it was called "The Better Man".
It definitely seems that the cheaper the customer, the more entitled (and rude) the customer seems to be.
I had another moronic Straight Talk customer come in today, wanting a FREE replacement phone for the one he lost, because he spends "so d@mn much" on his cell phone, and flipped out when I told him that he would have to buy a new phone for $50.
He started screaming about how he should get a refund for the last year's worth of calling cards if he did not get a free phone right away.
When I showed him the back of the cards that show that refunds are not allowed on used cards, he got angrier and stormed out, going on about how I am biased against him since he is not on Verizion.
I wanted to tell him that you get exactly what you pay for, but instead I bit my tongue and let him storm out.
Here is another idiotic phone call I received a few days ago. It is worth mentioning that the caller had a really thick "Jersey Accent".
Me: ......What can I do for you tonight?
DSW: I want you to refund me my money for my phone RIGHT NOW!
Me: What seems to be the problem with your phone?
DSW: For a smartphone, it ain't no smart. The internet is slow and stupid.
Me: (Wanting to down a bottle of wine at this point, as I know that this is not going to end well.) What model of phone do you have?
DSW: It's a Verizon phone.
Me: Yes, I understand that it is a Verizon phone, but what model is it?
DSW: Ya heard me, issa VERIZON phone, a VERIZON PHONE!
Me: Ma'am, Verizon has a wide variety of phones, from different makers. What make of phone is it?
DSW: Verizon MADE the phone FOR ME. I said it's a VERIZON phone you @ss!
Me: Ma'am, you do not need to get uppity with me, but the phone should have a brand on it from the company that made it.
DSW: It says T-Mobile on the top.
Me: Ma'am, that is a T-Mobile phone, not a Verizon phone.
DSW: Yes, it IS A VERIZON PHONE!
Me: There is nothing that I can do for you about your phone, as I do not deal with T-Mobile, as there are no T-Mobile native towers in North Dakota.
DSW: Dat's bull*****, I bought my phone from you, now you had better fix my phone before I kick your @ss.
Me: I hate to tell you this, but that is impossible, as I do not carry T-Mobile, I carry Verizon, I do not carry T-Mobile.
DSW: Verizon IS cellphones! (yeah, she said that) I wanna speak yo boss.
Me: I can get my manager, it will take a few minutes.
DSW: Fu(k you! If you fu(kers are not goin' to fix my phone that I got in New Joisey, then I am going to leave your bumpkin state.
Before I could respond to that, she hung up.
She called again, and that time I let someone else field the call.
Shortly I received a call over the radio, if I could help fix a "Verizon T-Mobile" phone. When DSW was offered the chance to try again with me, she hung up.
A coworker came up to me and asked what the problem was. I couldn't help but laugh, and I looked at her and told her that we had received a call from a Defective Snooki Wanna-be.
Me: "Sir, you have a termination fee because you agreed to a 2 year contract with us..."
Customer: "So, how long is the contract?"
.....**crickets**......
Me: "2 Years"
Lol! This is like asking the Disney cast member what time is the 3pm parade. (The customer means what time will the parade that starts at 3pm pass this spot, but they never ask it that way!)
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Originally Posted by ItsAceDeniro
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