Stupid Customer Action of the Day...

[JP Whoregan]

Another personal favorite:

"Why is my bill so high?"


Well, you never pay the balance IN FULL EVERY MONTH, so you carry forward a balance EVERY MONTH.

Why do people see a bill that says $138.43 and think if they run down to the Bill Payment Kiosk and put in $80, that they will be OK and their bill is paid.

Idiots!

Damn, do I feel you on that one. I have people that come in RELIGIOUSLY every month with the sole purpose of badgering me about their "ridiculous bill". And every month, I explain that if they would just pay it UP TO DATE, just ONE TIME, the bill would stop being so high. I tell them that it's just like a mini-credit card; when you keep carrying a balance forward, it will continue to grow bigger and bigger.

[SCTelephoneMan]

Damn, do I feel you on that one. I have people that come in RELIGIOUSLY every month with the sole purpose of badgering me about their "ridiculous bill". And every month, I explain that if they would just pay it UP TO DATE, just ONE TIME, the bill would stop being so high. I tell them that it's just like a mini-credit card; when you keep carrying a balance forward, it will continue to grow bigger and bigger.

Of course, that would require actually reading the bill, which is another rant in and of itself.

[Vatothe0]

I always tell them nicely, I say

"mr /mrs customer, think about your equipment like a car, when you take it to the mechanic.. the car has to be off or you not using it, its the same thing with your cell phone."

I get a smart one from time to time telling me that their phone is not a car, I tell them its the same concept.

I just explain that the first step in troubleshooting the phone is for them to take the battery out. About 1 in 5 would result in me hearing some fumbling around and the call ending...

[_KC_]

Customer comes in yesterday with a Treo 700 that he just bought used and activated on his line. Soon as he gets it activated, he somehow manages to lock it and does not know the code.

Customer - "Hi. My phone is locked and someone at another store told me I would have to go the service center so they could hook it up to a computer to unlock it. It will be at least 2 weeks before I could get all the way up there (its 30 minutes away), so do you think you could call them and have them bring the computer down here to do it for me?"

Me - "Huh??"

Customer - "Can't they just come to me to unlock it?"

Me - (Holding back laughter) "No, they don't generally pack up the service center and make house calls. Lets try a hard reset on it and see if that does the trick instead."

[JP Whoregan]

lol "Hello, Captain Self-Important. What part of your *** would you like me to kiss for you today?"

good one

[CanAm]

I always tell them nicely, I say

"mr /mrs customer, think about your equipment like a car, when you take it to the mechanic.. the car has to be off or you not using it, its the same thing with your cell phone."

I get a smart one from time to time telling me that their phone is not a car, I tell them its the same concept.

I once used the analogy.....have you ever changed a tire in your car while its moving?

[SCTelephoneMan]

Ugh...PDA people. The worst.

I am sure he was on pay as you go data too. God forbid these clowns spend any money.

[JP Whoregan]

lol they wanna look like a big baller but don't wanna spend any money.

[_KC_]

lol...you are right. He had no data plan.

Had another good one yesterday.

Customer - "Hi. <leans in close, whispering> Is it possible that someone can tap my cellphone?"

Me - <again, holding back my laughter> "Well, I don't like to say anything is impossible but I would wager that its not tapped sir."

Customer - "Can you take it apart and make sure? My ex-wife somehow knows what I am saying on the phone."


Actually not the only time I have had this convo before.

[Villagegeek]

This guy should figure out what he is talking about. Agents are in no way required to have a 30 day return policy. My store also has no returns on PDA's and our contract allows us to do so.

Had a lady come in the other day wanting to return her Storm. Receipt shows she bought it at an authorized agent about and hour drive away (I am corp btw). I explain we cant return any merchandise bought at a auth. agent store, she seems confused and says the line everyone here has heard a million times "Well it says Verizon on it" *smacks head in wall*

I explain the difference in the two types of store, she kinda gets it but then tells me her husband called the auth. agent and they said they don't take returns. She is within the first 30 days so I expressed bewilderment that they wouldn't take an exchange.

I call the agent myself in the store off their phone # on the receipt, a woman answers and I casually ask what their return policy is and she says 30 days with all original packaging and no damage on phone. So I get the girls name, tell the customer they confirmed they can indeed do a return and the cust seems ok at this point and leaves.

Only to come right back 15 minutes later. She says she called the store herself, spoke to the same girl I spoke to at the auth agent store, and this time when the cust mentioned it was a Storm the girl at the auth agent store said "Ohh no we don't return PDA phones". I said the cust "they seriously told you that?" and she said yes.

So I call the agent myself and ask about returning a Storm (in my first call I did not specify a Storm or PDA) and sure enough she says they most certainly do NOT return or exchange PDAs. I ask the girl "Does your manager know you're telling customers that?" and she says "Yeah he is the one who makes that policy" then I says "Is your manager available?" she says "No he is off today" then I say "Well you call your manager and tell him he is inches away from VZW taking his agent store away if he keeps those shenanigans up. I am going to personally call *Bob* (real name not used) who is the Verizon Wireless Indirect manager who oversees you guys and let him know what kind of crap you are pulling right away, have a nice day now" and hung up.

I apologize to the customer, who has up to this point been cool and understanding albiet confused.

Well now she insists we make an exception for her and do her exchange since the store she bought it from is shady as hell. I still explain that is not an exception we have the ability to make, but I tried to re-assure her that we will make sure that auth agent she bought the phone from honors her 30 day exchange. She explains how she shouldn't have to drive an hour over there and that VZW is at fault for allowing these agents to act that way, blah blah blah...

After my manager states there is NOTHING we can do to exchange her phone and that we promise we will get the agent to exchange it for her, she leaves but still pissed at us.

*DISCLAIMER* this is not intended to be some anti-indirect rant or anything. Although the agent above is clearly acting shady, I know better than to label all auth agents as such, I know there are many many agents out there who run great business and take care of VZW customers as good as or better than most corp stores.

[blackberrydiva]

I don't think its "shady business" if its printed on the receipt and the customer buys it with that knowledge. We have the right to dictate our own return policies.. because we buy the equipment.

[elgee02]

This guy should figure out what he is talking about. Agents are in no way required to have a 30 day return policy. My store also has no returns on PDA's and our contract allows us to do so.

Just because you are allowed to doesn't mean it's not shady to enact such a BS customer screwing policy.

[JP Whoregan]

You guys make valid points. I choose to match VZW's return policy, just so there is a sense of continuity and consistency between myself and the carrier. I think any agent who flat out denies returns on PDAs, or has a highly restrictive return policy, is setting themselves up for ALOT of badmouthing in the community.

When somebody wants to return a phone in my store, I smile happily and say "sure no problem", process the return, charge them the $35 restocking fee that's on the reciept, and say "have a nice day."

I have a mantra in my store, and it says "Make money on every person that walks through the door." Bill Payment? Feature sale opportunity. Bill overage complaint? Feature sale opportunity. Dead battery? Upgrade sale opportunity. Adding VZNav? Car charger sale opportunity. Car charger sale? Accessory bundle sale opportunity.

Customer makes a scene in my store and throws a tantrum? "New story to tell on HoFo" opportunity

And, even with returns... I look at every phone exchange as a profit opportunity. Now that they're returning a phone, I have an opportunity to put them into a more profitable phone than the one they're bringing back. Tack on the restock fee, and my P and L sheet just saw a positive come out of a negative.

EDIT: the only time I deny a return is if I give them some insanely good deal to get rid of a handset I'm having a hard time moving. For instance, when the Z6TV's were going out, and I was looking to get rid of them, I put them on clearance sale for free after rebate w/ free car charger, and I put "FINAL SALE / NO RETURNS" on the receipt.

[SCTelephoneMan]

"New story to tell on HoFo" opportunity

Got one for you! Tales from the tech support line....

Custy: "I've had feature X on my account for almost 2 years. I never said I wanted that, so I want you to remove it and credit me back the full 2 year's worth of charges."



Moi: "Ma'am, we send you out a bill every month. If you disagreed with the charges, you should have disputed it a long time ago. I can remove the feature (which was added at the store) but no credit is due."

Custy:"I want to speak to your supervisor."

Moi: "Sure!"


It's like people are actually READING their cell phone bills now. And discovering...gosh...golly...gee....what am I paying for?

[elgee02]

I know what an awesome concept this whole "reading your bill" thing is!