I'd like to start a thread that will unite both Agents and COR alike. Let's all post a story each day relating a customer issue that really irks you, or that is just plain funny. Then we can vote on the Stupidest Customer Of The Day!

Here's mine for today:

Customer came in wanting to know why her voice mail didn't work. She stated that she just got the phone yesterday. Here's the funny part: She got it at some Expo in town and they sold her a Motorola V-557. I'll repeat that--a V-557. Not sure how it is in everyone else's market, but that phone's been discontinued here for at least a year. Also, the rep added roadside and voice dial (not like I haven't done that), but the customer specifically asked the rep NOT to put those "free trial" features on. So this customer was a special kind of pissed off when she found out that those features were indeed on her account and that her "new" phone was already outdated. And now the Expo is done and she has nowhere to go to exchange or return the phone. Yep, a pretty satisfied customer, no doubt.

Cust. waddled in with a Nokia 6102, kept complaining she couldn't hear a thing from it and that it must be broken. In addition, she was entitled to a newer, better phone because she had been with Cingular for 50,000 years (had upgraded 4 months earlier). This phone was to be free, and she was "NOT signing no contract." She was not going to wait for a phone to be mailed, and the new phone would not be refurbished.

After this loud, angry tirade. I took the phone, called her voice mail, took the volume from its current setting of 2 and handed it back to her. Problem solved.

lol dude I love your use of the term "waddled". I usually call them "waddling mouthbreathers", or the ones who are so stupid they never learned to breathe out of their nose, so they have that constant, foreboding, "loud breathing" sound emanating from their mouth as they commence their inane complaint about a problem that arose out of their own doing.

Case in point:

Waddling mouthbreather (WM): "I'm having trouble downloading ringtones to my phone."

Me: "Ok, let me see what's going on here......it looks like you have asked customer service to block the internet access on your phone. Without internet access, you cannot download ringtones or anything else for that matter."

WM: "Well, I wanna download ringtones and pictures and stuff, but I don't wanna accidentally access the intard-web, so I blocked it. Can you make it so I can download ringtones and stuff?"

Me: "Sure, I'll be happy to re-enable the internet on your phone."

WM: "I DON'T WANT THE DAMN INTERNET, I WANNA DOWNLOAD RINGTONES!!!"

Me: "Ma'am, the ringtones come from the "damn internet".

WM: "LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!!!"

Me: "I am the manager."

and this vicious cycle continues.

Customer: "HOW COME EVERY TIME I COME HERE I HAVE TO WAIT JUST TO PAY MY BILL?!?!"

Me: "For 41 cents a month you'll never have this problem again."

"Or for FREE you can dial *PAY from your phone, or for FREE you can go on the internet to pay your bill, or for FREE you can set up AUTOPAY and NEVER have to wait in line again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!"

lol this is another MADDENING aspect of this industry!!!! Who the HELL has time to DRIVE TO THE STORE just to pay a damn bill!!!!! This company offers so many easy, free ways to pay a bill it's silly. But yet, people insist on waiting in line for a half hour to pay a bill. I've never understood this, and when people get annoyed at me because we happen to be busy with SALES, and now they're mad because they insist on sitting in line to pay a bill...

who sits in line at the power company to pay a bill? Does anybody knock on the door to the water company to pay *that* bill? Who actually *drives* to the cable company building to pay their cable bill every month? That's right, nobody does, because it's retarded to waste the gas and the time to do so when so many EASIER options are available without even leaving your house.

Same with a cell phone bill.

My power company is super lame and only allows you to pay it at their office. So ghetto they don't even take debit/credit cards. I'll never understand how companies still want people to pay bills in person.. Kudos to those who make life easier.

because they are ghetto they must pay CATCH at DA MATCHINE

a fat woman slish-sloshed into the shoe store today...

oh wait, wrong section.

Hm, I haven't listened to any calls yet. I'll post when I hear some idiocy.

Nokia 6102i.


Customer storms up to counter. Slams phone on counter, black plastic housing on top goes flying. Customer's face turns a deeper shade of red.

They say nothing.


Me: Hi, how you doing today? What can I help you with?

Customer: Picks up phone and slams to counter again. . . Says nothing

Me: Is their something with your phone that I can help you with?

Customer: Yea, I cant make calls. When my friends call or when I try to make calls, I cant get any one. They go to my voice mail when they call me.

Me: Ok, well lets take a look at your phone and I'll see what I can do.
Step1: Flip open phone
Step2: Hold down power key (phone boots up)
Step3: Wait for service
Step4: Dialed my store number (phone rings)
Step5: Checked audio
Step6: Called phone from store (phone rings)
Step7: Turned phone back off

Me: Well, it does appear that your phone is fully functioning. (Lean over and pick up broken top piece and place on counter)

Customer: How'ed you do that? I havn't been able to use my phone for 2 weeks. I keep charging it, and nothing happens.

Me: I'm not sure what I was doing differently, but I held down the power key, turned the phone on, and made my call.

Customer: You have to turn it on? Never mind. Now what about my phone?

Me: You mean the broken piece?

Customer: no sh*t.

Me: I will try to put it back into place for you, may I see your phone?

Customer: I just want a new one, this one does not work. (upgraded 3 months ago)



and the cycle continues. . .


you know the rest of the story.

Damn, you're nicer than I'd *ever* be in that situation. If a customer slams a phone on my counter, I will make dead eye contact with him/her, and I will sternly tell this "fine example of the human species" that if he expects assistance in my store, then he will act in a civilized fashion, refrain from using foul language, or be asked to leave. God help the poor chap who ever actually "throws a phone" at me or a rep in my store (I've heard it happen in the past), that person will find themselves in jail with an aggravated battery charge.

If that piece of plastic hit you in any way as it flew to the floor, that is battery in most states, and you could have had him arrested.

I love it!!! I've had that happen sooo many times at my store. I just want to tell the customer,"You just have to be smarter than you're phone"

Short and sweet: customer comes in and states that she just received a phone "through the mail" and that it was broken. She goes to open the bag she was carrying when she realizes it is a Fashin Bug bag, and inside is merely a pair of pants she planned to return later. She apologizes and goes back to her car to look for said broken internet-bought phone. She gets to her car and looks everywhere for about 3 minutes...realizes she didn't bring the phone and then gets in the car and drives off. Damn...I missed out on my fun for today...telling her I wasn't going to be able to help her after all that. Oh well...it is still early!

Another good one--customer comes in to inquire about a BB Curve...says his old man got one in NJ two days ago and suggested he get one, too. I look his account up and see that he will not be eligible until Saturday. He agrees to come back in then and buy the Curve. Here's the good part--while perusing his account, I see that the rep in NJ (keep in mind I am in Mass) put on a BB Personal Unlimited plan, for $49.99/month, which includes unlimited messaging as well as unlimited internet. I ask the customer if his "old man" even knows how to text, to which he replies "not even a little." I then proceed to tell him how I can save him $20/month by changing the BB code to the simple $29.99 BIS...without messaging. He is happy...I am extremely happy ($29.99 data revenue vs. no opp) and the rep in NJ--not so happy. Psyche!

I have never worked for AT&T nor for any other provider, but one day I was in an AT&T store and this woman walks in and complains that her bill is too expensive or that she's paying more than she needs to (just how and why she got on that plan in the first place wasn't mentioned). The rep offered to move her to a lower plan, but she immediately asked about her RO minutes. The rep told her that she would only be able to keep one month's worth of minutes out of - get this - the over 20,000 RO minutes that she had saved up!

This argument went around in circles for a minute or two. I was so tempted to turn around and ask her why she didn't just pay attention to her bills since you don't add up 20,000 RO minutes overnight. I was also tempted to ask her why she even cared about the RO minutes since saving up over 20,000 of them probably means that you'd never use them anyway. In any case, when the rep refused to let her keep all those minutes she started complaining about dropped calls, mentioned the "fewest dropped calls" ads and threatened to leave. The rep simply replied that he would be happy to let her leave for $175. Then the argument went back to rollover minutes and she said "Why can't I keep the RO minutes I paid for? 20,000 minutes...how many hours is that?". I left the store before the drama concluded because I was about ready to burst out laughing. Someone apparently can't read the English words on her bills for months at a time and can't divide by 60.

This is usually what happens when a customer is on the losing end of an argument (they started) they pull out the advertisement or the "when you where Cingular they didn't do (insert policy here)"